Autumn

Nikolai Ustinov

Autumn

There is so little wind at all,

The last leaves cling, and do not fall

From the bare branches' ends; I sit

Under a tree and gaze at it,

A slender web against the sky,

Where a small grey cloud goes by;

I feel a speechless happiness

Creep to me out of quietness.

What is it in the earth, the air,

The smell of autumn, or the rare

And half reluctant harmonies

The mist weaves out of silken skies,

What is it shuts my brain and brings

These sleepy dim awakenings,

Till I and all things seem to be

Kin and companion to a tree?

Arthur Symons

 The Fool of the World and Other Poems (1906).

“What is it…shuts my brain and brings/ these sleepy dim awakenings,/ Till I and all things seem to be/ Kin and companion to a tree?” Yes, what is it? What makes us see and feel for a moment a connection between ourselves and nature? I like how Symons describes it as a sort of sleepy awakening, something only dimly felt. Most of the time I think we feel very different, very other from nature, so when these awakening moments come, they have a strange quality, as if we are on the edge of a mystery. What is our part in this great world? Are we truly connected to these trees and these cycles of seasons? And if we are, what does it mean? What I do know is that looking at the trees around me, being connected to them seems good, just as Symon says, "I feel a speechless happiness/Creep to me out of quietness." (I just noticed the similarity between the sleeping/waking ideas in this poem and the last one - Fox Sleep by W.S. Merwin.)